I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
