He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just high enough for therapy.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
