grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
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