The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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