So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
