If i come over, it means nothing
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
