my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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