sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
