I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
