For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
