Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
