yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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