I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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