Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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