He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Let's get the cat blown out
You ruined the universe
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize