Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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