Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
