It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
