I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
