i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize