its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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