Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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