Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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