a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
