So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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