When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
