I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
