Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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