shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
