the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
