i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
