Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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