Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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