hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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