thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
