Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
