i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
