R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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