What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
