When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
