I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
