last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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