I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
