Apparently you make a good broom.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
