Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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