I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
