I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize