Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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