thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
