Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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