i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
