There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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