All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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