just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
