It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
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