Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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