Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
