would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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