bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
