Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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