found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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