Non-Jews are for practice
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
