he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
