his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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